Okay.
It seems that a lot of traditional kid's songs don't really reflect the world that we all live in now. Allow me to rectify that...
After going through a particularly draining session of "cookies and books" with Susie tonight I found myself resorting to a typical (for me, of course) method of keeping my own interest up in the midst of a truly mind-numbing cavalcade of requests to "do it again."
Introducing my new-and-improved version of the classic "The Wheels on the Bus."
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round,
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, all through the town.
The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish, swish swish swish, swish swish swish,
The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish, all through the town.
The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep beep beep,
The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep, all through the town.
The doors on the bus go open and shut, open and shut, open and shut,
The doors on the bus go open and shut, all through the town.
The brakes on the bus go screech screech screech, screech screech screech, screech screech screech,
The brakes on the bus go screech screech screech, all through the town.
The driver of the bus says "Fare's gone up, Fare's gone up, Fare's gone up,"
The driver of the bus says "Fare's gone up," all through the town.
The hobo on the bus says "Spare some change? Spare some change?, Spare some change?"
The hobo on the bus says "Spare some change?" all through the town.
The people on the bus say "Not today, Not today, Not today,"
The people on the bus say "Not today," all through the town.
The junkie on the bus says "Ugh ack uhnnn, Ugh ack uhnnn, Ugh ack uhnnn,"
The junkie on the bus says "Ugh ack uhnnn," all through the town.
The people on the bus call 911, 911, 911,
The people on the bus call 911, all through the town.
The mugger on the bus says "Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up,"
The mugger on the bus says "Stick 'em up," all through the town.
The victims on the bus say "Not again! Not again! Not again!"
The victims on the bus say "Not again!" all through the town.
Thank you! I'll be in town all this week.
Next time... versions of classic kid's books that you've never heard before, including:
The Whorax, Green Eggs and Sperm, Oh, the People You'll Screw, and The Three Billygoats Foulmouthed.
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11 comments:
Holy crap. We need to put this on an album,
"The Guy Way : Guy sings beloved childrens' songs"
"The Whorax" heheheheeehheeeee!
hey I watched Return of the King last night. Maybe there could be Wheels on the Bus" Lord of the Rings edition--
Frodo on the bus cries, "Ring.Ring.Ring'
"Ring.Ring.Ring'"Ring.Ring.Ring'
Frodo on the bus cries, "Ring.Ring.Ring'
All through the town.
Gollum on the bus screams, "Mine! Mine! Mine!
"Mine! Mine! Mine! "Mine! Mine! Mine!
Gollum on the bus screams, "Mine! Mine! Mine!
All through the town.
I got more ,cause I couldn't walk away and not have songs for the other friggin hobbits. That would drive me mad--
Sam on the bus mopes "Shire.Shire.Shire"
"Shire.Shire.Shire""Shire.Shire.Shire"
Sam on the bus mopes "Shire.Shire.Shire"
All through the town
Merry on the bus wants "Food!Food!Food!"
"Food!Food!Food!"Food!Food!Food!"
Merry on the bus wants "Food!Food!Food!"
All through the town.
Pippin on the bus sings "Drink!Drink!Drink!"
"Drink!Drink!Drink!""Drink!Drink!Drink!"
Pippin on the bus sings "Drink!Drink!Drink!"
All through the town.
The Balrog on the bus goes, burn burn burn all through the mine.
The elves on the bus go, prance prance prance all through the town.
And in the background I hear a certain little girl who should be napping giggling, "Hobbits, hobbits, hobbits in the deep!"
Here's an alternate for Merry & Pippin
The hobbits on the bus are smoking dope, smoking dope, smoking dope...the hobbits on the bus are smoking dope...all through the shire!
Or how 'bout this...
The wizard on the bridge says none shall pass, none shall pass, none shall pass...the wizard on the bus says none shall pass...
...then he falls to his death!
that was some funny shite!
hey guy, that cd should come with your version of the minority kids for fisher price :P
ok, when i think of an addition to this new classic, i'll put it in, or maybe dave can do it for us both :D
Denis Leary's got a songwriter for his music! You could be the Lennon-McCartney of the Angry Irish Prog-rock set! Album covers by Roger Deacon / Frank Frazetta of course.
The name of the band - Two Irish Guys Grooving with a Pict
Tour's opening act: Uriah Heep.
or Will Smith!
Yeah, I can just see me gettin' jiggy wit de Fresh Prince!
Leary though... hmmm, I wonder what his agent's # is?
By the way Dierdre, you should see the s**t I do with Susie's Little People sets. Michael is a classic, sittin' in the green wheelchair in the back of the bus. If I could just get a Little People Talmud in his plastic little hands and painted some makeup on him he'd be the ultimate minority!
By the way folks, he's sittin' in the back of the bus 'cause that's where the wheelchair ramp is. Don't be so prejudiced you Luddites!
Lyrics by Donovan and Leary...now that's an album I'd buy.
The album should be titled "BLACK NEON OF DEATH and other assorted Funk Classics"
Didn't MECO already do that?
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