Seriously folks... anyone got any idea what happened to Joe?
I heard that Jersey State Troopers found his abandoned IROC Z-28 on the side of the road somewhere outside of Palmyra with a trail of discarded clothing meandering more or less eastbound into the Pine Barrens.
Coincidentally, there was a Jersey Devil sighting reported at the Trump Casino in Atlantic City about a day and a half later. Witness Hazel Blomquist, 81, of Sea Isle City was quoted as saying, "It was horrible! Whatever it was, it reeked of garlic and kept muttering; 'Dude... stupid!'. All I could think of to do was to give it $20 and a breath mint. Can I go back to the buffet now?"
Mr. Lampone's co-workers at the Deptford School for the Mentally Bewildered were unavailable for comment. An anonymous letter was received by the Carbuncle, N.J. Police Department late yesterday. The letter contained only a photo, Mr. Lampone's name, and the phrase 'meat product' repeated approximately 67 times. The photo is reprinted here by permission of the Carbuncle P.D. and the Lampone family in hopes that the general public may be of assistance in the search.
A comment attributed to Detective Hyram Bahlzurswollen of the C.P.D. Missing Persons Squad has led to speculation that this photo may represent the last thing that Mr. Lampone witnessed before disappearing. When asked if that was the case, Det. Bahlzurswollen responded; "Well I don' know 'bout youse but if I was clobbered in the face by a flyin' midget I'd prolly wanna disappear for a few days myself!"
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has been contacted about the possibility of using their facial recognition software in order to identify the bystanders seen in the picture. When asked if the identity of the midget would also be ascertained Det. Bahlzurswollen replied; "Why? You can't trust those people. I mean, lookit 'im! Christ!"
The Lampone family has also announced that they have created an internet site for the public to leave any information that they may have regarding the whereabouts of Mr. Lampone in an anonymous setting. The address for that website is; www.dudewhereyouat.com.
Any help would be appreciated.
4 comments:
Y'know, I never considered the possibility that midgets were involved in Joey Rocco's disappearance.
I was actually starting to think he'd gone off on a pilgrimage to find Gino the Ginny and have a dance-off.
i just realized something. foe a second, i thought the face of the flying miget was one of devo's creations, using joe's face....
YO JOE! where you at?
Joe, "The Jersey Sasquatch" Lampone
or maybe he's walking the earth like Kung Fu
i think that he may be hidden in area 51 with elvis and the true father of michael jackson's kids...
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