I don't really put much stock in religion so let me just say "Thank hydrogen for the Canadians".
Check out the following article that an ex-BP friend of mine (that means she's no longer in the BP, not that she's no longer a friend) sent me concerning some of the ignorant questions that Canadian Customs gets asked on a daily basis by the world's brainless elite who wish to soil their shores...
Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo.
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010Winter Olympics, these are some questions people fromall over the world are asking. Believe it or notthese questions about Canada were posted on anInternational Tourism Website. Obviously the answersare a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so howdo the plants grow?(England )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then justsit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?(USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can Ifollow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots ofwater.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada?Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver,Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racingin Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent southof Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to yourNorth...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is everyTuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact uswhen you get here and we'll send the rest of thedirections.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?(USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country borderingGer-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the ViennaBoys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver andin Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Comenaked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbiawhere the female population is smaller than the malepopulation? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milkavailable all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Veganhunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada,but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse withhorns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and veryviolent, eating the brains of anyone walking close tothem. You can scare them off by spraying yourselfwith human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
3 comments:
I'm surprised there wasn't a question asking where a person could find Bob & Doug Mackenzie.
Holy crap.
A Canadian co-worker told me that some one asked her if they celebrated Christmas in Canada.
A bunch of tonks asked me a couple of weeks ago how to get to Canada. I told them to just keep driving North until they saw a big, fluffy white animal and then get out of the car and walk up to it because they're really friendly.
Never did hear back from them.
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